"Just Don't Kill the Fox" - Hunting is a Class Issue

I have no problem with the hunting of foxes with dogs. I have no problem with animals eviscerating other animals generally and slaking their thirst for violence. What I have a problem with is idiocy, short-sightedness and indignation (an adjective which can only be used in a pejorative sense if you think about it) and the whole conundrum of fox hunting throws the casual observer plenty of idiocy on either side of the argument.

The main cause of idiocy is that the whole issue is so goddamn silly and pointless that it makes my head bleed. Why can't the huntsmen hunt foxes, catch them and then just not tear the poor fucking thing apart? Give that notion a moment, assume that preventative measures are taken to ensure that the dogs can't kill the fox and let everyone go about their business. Now any idea that I could put forward for rendering dogs harmless would be fruitless because, short of making mouth-guards for them, I've got no idea. But surely somewhere, in some place somewhere on this retarded little planet there must be a (wo)man with a plan - given that as a race we can graft human ears onto mice and castrate our dogs, then surely somewhere has gotten the balance of science and acceptable cruelty to pull this off.



I would have thought so, but again, even if this very simple problem were fixed, further utterly pointless issues are raised. Gamesmen, caretakers or whomever the landed employ for these tasks, would simply be instructed to lay traps to catch the foxes and then kill them. We come now to another truth - that foxes are pains in the arse for pretty much every other animal that it comes into contact with, including us. They carry diseases, destroy habitats, tear down fencing and kill poultry. They're rodent scum and as such are perfectly legitimate targets for the time-honoured practice of "having their numbers thinned". Of course this still practice still raises objections but you won't get tens of thousands of people parading across the 'dilly to stop it, and so, if you do object, then you are in a vast minority and you obdurately talents would be better spent elsewhere. For the longest time I didn't care about fox hunting, I held the process in a certain amount of distaste just by default, but when the issue of a ban came up, I got to thinking about it some more and arrived at the following conclusion: It's an question of class.



When I say that, I'm not lambasting "upper class toffs" for letting money and privilege obscure the true values of life, neither am I scolding the lower orders for being jealous and self-righteous, it runs deeper than that. Why is there such a furore about fox hunting? There's a furore because neither side will budge an inch on an issue that is inherently malleable and open to change in the way I detailed above. JUST DON'T KILL THE GODDAMN FOX AS PART OF THE HUNT. Get people in overalls to come round with traps, poisons and whatever else may pass as humane slaughtering gear to fuck 'em up later. Treat the process in exactly the same way as you would if you discovered cockroaches in your kitchen and do as you have every right to. You can still hunt, you can still employ all the people complaining about being lain off as a result of the ban, just don't kill the fox.

But they won't. They won't because they don't want to, and the anti-hunting people won't offer this solution up as a compromise because they don't want to. It's not even a catch 22 - there is no catch. Huntsmen hate the idea of submitting their will to the namby-pamby, hippy moralising of the cities whilst the sabs hate the idea of this wanton, hateful toffery continuing unchecked. By being so unrelenting, they render the issue largely insoluble.

As the ban came into place, and I thought that nothing could happen to make me hate either side more, I was proved wrong. The huntsmen say they'll carry on hunting regardless of the law... Why? "I'm prepared to go to jail!" they cry. Why? The only thing in the hunters favour was that what they were doing was legal, and what the saboteurs were doing wasn't. Beyond that, they haven't got a leg to stand on. If you seriously want to break the law to make your point, if you want to risk your liberty, then surely there is a better cause than this? Surely? Aren't there greater, nobler parts of our heritage to preserve than dressing up and giving some animals a good kicking? What about hedgerows? All the hedgerows are being removed from the countryside; some have stood stolidly for 500 years, have seen the world change around them and stand as a glorious testament to this. Some hooligan goes around chopping them down with god knows what purpose and no-one moves a finger, but remove your right to raid the dressing up box on a Sunday and suddenly you turn into fucking ETA.



Now, in April, the issue is dead, I haven't read a single word about fox hunting for a month. Has the ban worked? Are they hunting anyway? Have there been arrests? I've no idea because no one will tell me and I'm buggered if I'm going out of my way to find out. So in conclusion then, we all know how much stupidity and short-sightedness that exists in the world around us; the sheer incompetence of those around us seems to increase with each passing day. Yet I don't think two greater masses of prejudice and arrogance have ever squared up quite so immovable over a subject so petty. If the issue is dead, let it die, it's a grotty problem that reflects no honour upon any who take part in it on either side.

By J. L. Cranfield
Pictures by Thomas Wurwal