Conclusions and Admonitions

The time has come, where I, like all monotonous pedagogues, have to actually think about what I'm saying and conclude that a lot of what I have said before is wrong, or at least misleading. In my case, I've spent a hefty chunk of the last two years swearing and ranting and generally tearing at a "man of straw" of my own erection (snigger). Let me elaborate. One could be forgiven, reading over my pieces, for thinking that I hold a pretty low opinion of my University; Jimothy (Echo to my Narcissus) has asserted this in the past. This is not quite the case; I have a desperately low opinion of UKC Hospitality, of Kent Union and of specific Sabbaticals. The venality and idiocy of these people and organisations is evident to anyone who takes an interest and scratches the surface of the institution as a whole. The truth, though, is that I'm rather glad it is the way it is. As a non-Freshman who lives off-campus, there is actually very little that any of these organisations can do to hurt me. They can waste my money, of course, but then, as long as I still receive teaching then so what? Its not as if Kent is unique in its ineptitude.

Let me now say that I have a great deal of affection for some aspects of UKC. The library is efficient, small and pertinently stocked. Work is generally marked quickly and helpfully annotated, even by seminar leaders I disliked. It has been, though, my utmost pleasure to be taught by a series of fascinating individuals whom I may as well name-check and thank here. The delectable Anastasia Vassalopoulos who taught "The Tale" in my first year; the excellently bearded Rob Hyland who taught the none-more-dry "Topics in American Cinema" module well; Henry Claridge, who papered over the cracks of American literature; Michael Grant, whose course "Fantastic Film" is the most challenging and exciting I took; Su Holmes, who let me wax prolix about horror films for a whole term and, finally, Rod Edmond, who aside from being the best teacher I've had at any level, is also responsible for my best marks. So to these people I would raise my degree and say "ta". Dishonourable mentions go to Jessica Malay who was overly dismissive to an eager first-year; to Sarah Cardwell for poor communication skills and to that old bat in the library who glares at me all the time.

I look back on these people with affection, but my earlier vehemence at the construction of the university syllabus still holds, I think. The Film first-year courses are decidedly prosaic, straightforward and uninspiring. I don't mean its easy to do well (I didn't) its just easy to coast through. As regards English, the "English and American" tag on my degree is irritating and necessarily limiting in the ways one would expect. No Flaubert, no Balzac, no Tolstoy, no Marquez - bit shabby really to look back over a three year course that is based upon excluding all those authors. Also, I still think that for the sake of the students, there should tighter restrictions on how much you can miss in the way of lectures and seminars…but that’s a different article altogether.

Kent's best feature is its teachers (at least to someone doing English and Film); much of the rest is a joke. However, by presenting students with people like David Budd, Emma Powell and Lianna Kate-Whittaker, UKC are virtually underwriting their own backlash. The existence of this website is directly due to ineptitude of KRED, the existence of our good friends at KUNt is likewise dependent on the essential, molecular crapness of the union. Through these outlets, a culture has developed that demands a critical appraisal of everything UKC does. Things have now advanced to the stage where one person has now written for CATR, for KUNt and for KRED. Good stuff.

Enough mutual fellatio, let's get to business. Chris Best has now gone, which can only help but UKC is changing as we speak, we are at a pivotal moment. The advent of top-up fees could combine with a questionable work ethic and general malaise to make this place pretty toxic. Think of every candidate who stopped you prior to the elections, what was every one of them talking about? What they would do with the new money from top-up fees. Every one of those candidates was either lying or just wrong, I'm not sure which is worse: Kent has ALREADY SPENT the money, and any leftovers will be used to appease the AUT. These are the people the next in-take of students will be looking to guide the leaky ship UKC through the coming storm. Will they manage? Oh fuck no, they haven't a hope in hell. Should be a giggle to watch though.

C'est plus meme chose. Next years sabbaticals have got their places by being obfuscatory or simply herding a load of their mates along to the polls; fair play, this is nothing new. As students, though, we have a God-given right to spend as much time as we care hacking at these people and interrogating every decision they make. Consider the recent thread on thestudentbar.com, where an organiser of Keynestock withdrew herself from the line-up due to public pressure, bravo. I don't care how many precautions this person took against bias, it should just be obvious that no one involved in any way with a decision-making panel should benefit from its decisions. If people can iron out the smaller kinks in the way UKC works then blah, blah, blah, you can guess the rest.

I've made a conscious effort with this piece to balance my perspective. To see both the benefits of my University and the benefits that its short falls have brought to me, which in the shape of friends and discussion is pretty considerable. Moreover, it is fun to confront wanky pseudo-political UKC problems with common sense, because you'll always win.

I would, however, take this opportunity to make one desperate plea to Kent. Please, please, please, get some interesting guest lecturers. My friend attended Kingston Uni this year which, from his reports, could be in the running with Christchurch for "Most Pointless Higher Education Facility on Earth" and even they had Will Self turn up and yammer for his supper, why not Kent?

Anyway, I really do quite like it here, which is why I'm staying on for while longer. This decision is due to me finding excellent teachers whom I enjoy learning from allied to a venal organisation that I enjoy seeing picked apart at my leisure.

By J.L. Cranfield

Copyright June 2006