A Rebuttal to Bobbie Campbell

I love reading and always have, finding a vast array of subject matters interesting. I by no means call myself a writer and do not criticise as one. But I criticise as a reader and offer my perspective.

The writer uses archaic words such as ‘thusly’, ‘receptacles‘ and ‘micturition’ (Word Processor doesn’t even recognise this one) as if straight out of a Jane Austin novel.

Well here is a loud and clear message, which needs no adjectives: GIVE IT A REST.

I'm afraid you have lost me, Bobbie. You begin with a disclaimer that you are not a writer, and that you humbly offer us your opinions under the banner of "your perspective". You then conclude by telling me to "GIVE IT A REST", hardly the exclamation of one commenting from objectivity. Give what a rest? Writing as a whole? Using words that you (or your word processor) do not understand?

I would have infinite respect for your opinions if you didn't bottle it and pretend to be objective. You don't like my writing; you find it pretentious, pompous and self-congratulatory. You think I delight in seeking out obtuse synonyms just to confirm my superiority over the reader. At my heart there is a pathetic child, desperately holding it's arms for the loving embrace of intellectual vindication. You don't like this and you wanted to voice your opinions.

What you have in fact done is say nothing of any worth at all. Do you really think that one can make a case for not using the word "thusly" because it is "archaic"? That is nearly one of the silliest things I have ever read because I can't believe for a second that you didn't understand it's use. You took personal offence, and tried to disguise this behind a veil of literary criticism. Criticism is perfectly valid, but you're not very good at it. I'm not saying there aren't legitimate issues to take with the article, but you single out some very bizarre ones for close analysis. I can assure you that Micturition did not come from a Jane Austen book, or a Jane Austin one come to that: "What are you doing Lizzie"? "I'm just having a quiet micturate in the hedge, papa". To micturate means "to piss" and is a word in common use, for all Microsoft's refusal to acknowledge it.

I liked your description of my bias metaphor as "stupid", there you began to give vent to what you actually felt, but then collapsed back into old habits with "This kind of imagery is all well and good in a fictional story...". What kind of imagery? "Really stupid" imagery? Surely not, if it's "really stupid" it has no place in any literary genus.

How do you expect to get your message across when all your doing is getting on people’s nerves?

My message was perfectly clear, and stated at several points. "The issue is ultimately insoluble, unenforceable, morally reprehensible and, at it's dark heart, profoundly hypocritical...by enforcing a smoking ban on campus, the university would be over-stepping its bounds and entering an ethical world into which it has no business treading". Your message on the other hand is vague at best. Do you hate me? Do you find me ridiculous? Do you want my writing removed from the site? What? What? What the hell are you actually saying, because I'm fucked if I can work it out.

GIVE IT A REST

No.

By J.L. Cranfield

Copyright May 2005